Monatsarchiv: Juli 2009

Dictionary of contemporary cycling phrases

From the TCC site adapted from http://amateurtrigirl.blogspot.com/

I’m out of shape“

Translation: I ride 400 miles a week and haven’t missed a day since the Meiji period. I replace my 11-tooth cog more often than you wash your shorts. My body fat percentage is lower than your mortgage rate.

„I’m not into competition. I’m just riding to stay in shape“

Translation: I will attack until you collapse in the gutter, babbling and whimpering. I will win the line sprint if I have to force you into oncoming traffic. I will crest this hill first if I have to grab your seat post and spray Pocari Sweat in your eyes.

„I’m on my beater bike“

Translation: I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany using composites blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared. It weighs less than a fart and costs more than a divorce.

„It’s not that hilly“

Translation: This climb lasts longer than a tea ceremony. Be careful on the steep sections or you’ll fall over — backward. You have a 39×23 low gear? Here’s the name of my knee surgeon.

„This is a no-drop ride“

Translation: I’ll need an article of your clothing for the search-and- rescue dogs.

„It’s not that far“

Translation: Bring your passport

„We should be back before it gets dark“

Translation: Check on your life insurance policy and leave a parting note to your loved ones。

Any typical Positivo Espresso phrases you would like to add?

„We are taking regular food supply breaks“

Translation: Don’t even dare to stop at any other shop than a 7-eleven. Even when riding the Transalp.

Sure it’s OK for newcomers to join us on a ride out in the mountains.“

Translation: You are lured into the moutains and left in a place from where you have no idea how to ride home. One of the newcomers, Paul Jason changed bis phone number and e-mail address after the ride. You might want to consider to do the same before.

„This is the last hill.“

Translation: Expect at least five similar climbs on the remainder of the ride, although unless the speaker has a very short memory, is intentionally misleading you, or just has a warped sense of perception, each upward slope can be somehow distinguished from that „last hill“, as follows:


–you do not actually go over a „pass“ before heading downward again;
–the steep part is only a few kilometers long;
–it is not a hill, just a series of „steep rollers“ stacked near each other, so even though you climb a thousand meters with a 10%+ average grade, you end up only 150 meters higher than you started, etc., etc.

But the most likely explanations are that the speaker is intentionally misleading you, if a racer, or suffering from warped perception, if a long or ultra-long distance cyclist.

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Eingeordnet unter 2009, Mob, tcc

Horrors of the Transalp – Day 6

This was the big day. Third and last of the „major“ passes (Passo di Gavia – just over 2600 meters elevation) this trip, 3770 meters of climbing and 181 km distance. Our strategy was to attack from the beginning to end.

  • Passo d’Eira
  • Passo Foscagno
  • Passo di Gavia
  • Passo Tonale and
  • Passo di Mendola („Mendelpass“ in German).

David J and Juliane were 69th place today in the mixed group. Siegfried and Brunhilda lost another 10 minutes.

Jerome and I had our best stage finish – 156th place. We are now 162 out of 179 in the Masters general classification, up from 166. Messrs Dupont and Dumond (actually Messrs. Roux and Mestre) retook the lead of the Masters category.

Highlights of the day’s ride —

  1. I was actually up the first two passes and Gavia with Juliana and David J and a few minutes ahead of Jerome … a new experience for me this trip. Juliana says I am her hero, hauling 98 kgs up those hills! Maybe it was due to the leg stretching I did at the starting area:

    … or maybe it was a result of raising my seatpost a few millimeters so that I could sit back and spin more smoothly on the steeper slopes?
    Rickard Lindkvist poses for a photo with the Positivo Espresso team, as the three chat about the day’s upcoming „Queen Stage“ of the race:

    Leaving Livigno:

  2. Jerome the monster climber appeared on Passo Tonale.

  3. Jerome and I pulled a train along a long flat stretch after Tonale. Eventually a tandem (not officially in the event but riding passed our group and motioned for riders to draft off of them. I jumped at the opportunity, as did a rider named Andre. We had a very fast ride the rest of the way down the valley.

  4. Gavia was less spectacular to look at on the climb than Stelvio, but offered a 3-4 km flat section on top — like another world. The descent was ridiculous — narrow road, hairpins, -16% grade at spots, construction, potholes, and traffic coming up at us.

Mission … almost accomplished.

P.S. Transalp camp in Kaltern, another gymnasium, has no hot water in the showers. The sleeping quarters, however, are very hot, and without apparent ventilation. So we took our camp to the graffiti-covered back porch. Jerome started to sleep out under some trees, until the ants came. Then he moved to the top of the concrete ping pong table (right side of photo), but was able to take over a spot from another sleeper next to David J. (left side of photo) when David J.’s snoring drove a stranger to seek indoor accommodations in the middle of the night. This is what it looked like at 6:30AM, when everyone else had already started to pack up for the day:

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Eingeordnet unter 2009, Transalp

Daily Transalp DAY 5

Dinner in Livigno.


Today’s report:

Day 5 – 3550 meters of climbing, starting in the morning from 550 meters elevation and going up the Stelvio to 2758 meters over 60 km. We survived.

David J and Juliane completed the stage in 7:11. Jerome and I were around 7:50, too close to the 8 hour cut off.

My rear tubular tire sidewall started to separate on the approach to Stelvio, and there was no support vehicle or mechanic in sight, so I climbed with it, still rideable, figuring I would either find a support vehicle, change it at the pass before the dangerous descent, or earlier if it flatted. It went „pop“ or more like a „boom“ at 1900 meters, and I was able to change it and go again after losing 10-15 minutes. Jerome went ahead, hoping to find a support vehicle, and waited for me at the top. Stelvio was spectacular, breathtaking, even a bit vertigo inducing!

Caught in the rain on Stelvio:


I saw the intense German guy who criticized my cheap tubular that first evening in Sonthofen, told him my story and admitted that he was right! We had good discussion about tubulars. Of course, Continental (the German brand) is good. Juliane agrees.

The tire episode put us deep into the back group of stragglers. We descended stelvio safely and arrived at the second rest area (still no mechanics) just as they were starting to take down the flags.

The second group of passes (Foscagno and the d’Eira) was much easier, only 7-8% grade most of the way, 1000 meters elevation gain, so just a little more than matsuhime from the south side or hakone. A cool rain fell that, as usual, turned Jerome into a monster climber. I lost Jerome about 1/2 way and he climbed at 12-15 kph to the top, while I pushed on at 10-11 kph, both of us passing people and clawing our way back through the bottom of the rankings. He again waited at the top (of Foscagno), and after a little descent in the cold rain of 2300 meters elevation, we got the surprising pleasure of another climb of unknown height–just to add to the pressure of whether we would make the cutoff time or lose an hour.

Jerome, still stronger, was 100+ meters ahead at the top and kept ahead on the descent to the finish. In livigno, the finish was set up oddly after a left turn onto a steep side street. I got stuck behind a car at a red light and then was waved onto the steep slope, and tried to shift into an appropriate gear. My chain got stuck, and I needed to dismount, fix it, then ride up the 50 meters to the finish line for my time. Fortunately very few people were waiting or watching, in the rain.

Newsflash : Siegfried and Brunhilda are now 10 minutes back in the Mixed category GC. They lost a lot of time over the Stelvio. Stage 6 should be exciting!

Looking down the valley from Livigno (a large ski town and duty free capital in a meadow at elevation 1850 meters):

The new Positivo Espresso Slogan :

„Die Strasse bleibt die Strasse“

„The road is the road.“ It takes us up. It takes is down. It has an end.


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Eingeordnet unter 2009, Transalp

Transalp Chronicles – Day 4

On the Timmelsjoch:



Stage 4 in the books, and we went over our first BIG alpine pass – Timmelsjoch, at 2509 meters elevation – and into Italy/delightful Sud-Tirol with apple orchards and vineyards, ending up at the delightful town of Naturns. Why is everything written in German here? Is this where MOB’s relatives live?

The Positivo Espresso UK team finished 71 out of 90 mixed teams in 4:13. The leading Mixed team, Lightweight Wheels‘ sponsored team #4 of Jorg Ludewig and Claudia Frank (known to their fans as Siegfried and Brunhilda) seems to be in some trouble, with the #2 team closing in. Some of you may remember Ludewig from his career with Team Telecom and many pro appearances.

The main Japan team finished 165 out of 179 „Masters“ teams, and first among teams appearing from Japan in this year’s Transalp. The French still lead the Masters category. As usual, Jerome started slow but passed David 85% of the way up the climb, and pulled the team (and other hangers on) on the flat stretch near the finish. One of the hangers on, a German woman, sat on our wheel for 3 km and then zipped around us to finish ahead. Jerome was not happy — despite a „thank you“ in our general direction.
Jerome cools off at the finish and one of the aid stations:



Tomorrow and Friday separate the men from the boys (and the women from the girls). Real mammoth stages — we start 800 meters lower than this morning and climb 250 higher. Then down and up more passes.



By the way, the other couple in this photo are a brazilian man and his german wife. She was not happy the first day, said he was riding too fast … but seems to have recovered. Their team time today was close to 3:30.

We had a very nice after dinner stroll up the hillside to the Falkenstein for „second dinner“ — or in my case a simple dessert of vanilla ice cream with raspberry sauce (and some extra chocolate sauce also) … that translates from the German as „hot love.“




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Greetings from Transalp Camp


Transalp camp — as close as Jerome and I are ever going to get to the Olympic Village.

Another sports center in another Austrian ski town – Solden. Men and women, no privacy, changing clothes, applying cream to one’s sensitive parts, giving each other massages, sleeping on camp mattresses. A guy near us has electrodes attached to his leg muscles, hooked up to a portable machine. His legs are twitching unnaturally as he lies on his back, eyes closed.

Yesterday, there was a guy near us whose crew cut/mullet style hair was dyed reddish orange, with a plaster cast on his right wrist. When we went out to dinner, he had been standing around in nothing but his thong underpants for at least 15 minutes. I’m pretty sure I saw his orange hair at dinner, but I thought it was amusing that when we got back from an after dinner ice cream and wine stop at a cafe, he was … standing back in the same place, again in nothing but the thong.

Tonight it is hot in the camp — people are sleeping on top of their sleeping bags/sheets, wearing only underpants.

We went out for dinner – skipped the „pasta party.“ Back after lights out so no time for a full report on the ride. There was a beautiful view of an Alp up the valley from Solden (we head out this way in the morning, bearing left at some point and up the Timmelsjoch):

At least we were climbing better, on ridiculously steep sections of the Pillerhohe — lots of 12, 13, 15 and even 18-19% grade. Many got off and walked. I did not … though I did stop briefly for some photos. (Walking was probably the smart way to save energy for later in the day). The Positivo Espresso „orange bullet train“ is becoming well known in Europe as well as Asia.

Climbing the Pillerhohe:


Best, David

PS. At the finish of the race in Arco, Italy 4 days later, the family of orange hair/broken wrist/thong guy showed up. … and they looked like an incredibly normal group of people. The thong guy embraced someone who is likely his wife, and this little kid, who I am guessing is probably his son … was training for his own future Transalp:


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Eingeordnet unter 2009, Transalp