All bicycles on alert
The Positivo Espresso safety committee has identified a potential safety issue involving one of its riders, David L. If ridden by David L. and under certain conditions, bicycles, frames and components can crack, disintegrate or simply disappear in small white clouds, which may cause the bicycle or its components to end up in the trash can, completely loosing any previous affection by its owner.
According to his own statement, he „managed to break — various ti [titanium] and steel frames, seatpost collars, wheel rims, etc.“.
To date there have been some reports of bike-injuries in the field, resulting in major damage to the used bicycle. Though David L. completed visa procedure when entering Japan and properly obtained his alien registration card, this issue was not uncovered during these standard procedures and the damage on bike components only showed up in the field.
The Japanese government feels that David L. meets the immigration standard, that it is therefore acceptable to let him ride bikes and that no further action is required. Positivo Espresso does not share this opinion and therefore, is proceeding with a rider recall of David L.
However, please note that this does not affect riders named David in general, such as David J., David M., David D. or David N. in any way, as all of them have a completely different structural body design.
For some reasons, defying logical explanations, David L. is not able to break or destruct bicycles components which are already on product recall by the manufacturer, such as Cervelo SL forks or Look Keo pedals.
IDENTIFYING THE RECALLED RIDER
The recalled rider normally wears a Positivo Espresso team jersey, sometimes also an ASSOS Kachastan national jersey. Bicycles should be alert if they here the sound of a bell accompanied by a male voice shouting „torimaaaaaaaaaaaass“.
Eingeordnet unter 2008, David