Tagesarchiv: 15. Dezember 2009

„I am looking for a good home for all of my cyclocross gear. You will need a large garage or basement to house my collection. With the 2010 cyclocross season 9 months away just think of all the time you will save if you buy all of my stuff.

My loss is your gain. I am selling everything I own that involves cyclocross. I had the car packed and was headed to Bend for cyclocross nationals. The weather report and course conditions sounded brutal. I searched deep into my soul, and I have become too soft to finish my 2009 CX season. This sport has broken my heart and crushed my dreams for possibly the last time. Everything must go. Everything is included. If you win this auction you will have everything you will ever need to race cyclocross, and look like a complete pro. I have decided that I enjoy buying cyclocross stuff more than racing it. So do me a favor and buy it all. Unfortunately for me I will probably buy most of it back piece by piece on Ebay later this summer when my mental stability and optimism return. Maybe I will return in 2010 rocking the one cog? Just think how much simpler and cheaper that would be. My motivation is high…. my spirits are low. Everthing listed below is real and is yours if you BID.“

 As seen on eBay

He adds the following in his write-up..

„99% of cycling is looking cool, and you are going to look like a damn rock star. I am including what is left of my ENDUROX CHOCOLATE recovery drink. About 1/3 of the can is left. This stuff will make you fart like mad, but if you mix it with some milk and coffee it tastes like Starbucks.“

„The bicycle was named after its inventor, Robert Bicycle, a Dutch man who, dissatisfied with having to walk to the cheese shop, created the first two wheeled human-powered vehicle in 1972. Due to the non-existent petroleum requirements that the bicycle presented, its use quickly become popular with social workers and crystal healers and within just a few years, the smell of patchouli oil became inescapable even within the comfort of one’s car on the freeway. Although primarily regarded as a woman’s hobby, bicycle riding has since gained popularity not only amongst the homosexual male community but also people who enjoy wearing Spandex® of all persuasions.“

I didn’t know that.

There’s more…

„I am often asked why my Spandex® bicycle riding costume features eight hundred and thirty corporate sponsorship logos even though I do not actually have a sponsor. The reason for this is simple. For every thirty male bicycle riders there is one female bicycle rider and, as in nature where the most adorned peacock gets the peahen, the male bicycle rider with the most brightly coloured Spandex® and most corporate sponsorship logos gets to mate with her.“

Do you want a dinky to the shop? – www.27bslash6.com